Gratitude

Well I have fallen off the blogging wagon for awhile as there has been lots going on in life these days. Plus sometimes it just seems like you aren't really sure what to post or what to say, especially when so many we know right now are going through definite challenges in their lives. But the one thing I have felt so strongly over the last little bit is gratitude...a gratitude I am not sure I have ever really experienced before.

It is always interesting how the Lord works in your life and gives you opportunities or experiences that help you learn and grow. For me sometimes I know I have let those great teaching moments go for one reason or another and have missed some key learning. Lately as I have turned my life completely over to the Lord in the challenges we have been facing some amazing experiences have occurred and I have begun to realize the great blessings I enjoy and have received throughout my life. I am so grateful for the chance to have my heart changed because of the interaction with others who have what many would consider amazing struggles and yet for them they have taken all the good they could from them and made themselves better people. They have learned what true humility is and have allowed me to benefit from their experience. They have taught me how much I hide behind my own pride and independence and how detrimental that can be and that when you truly desire what the Lord desires for your life (no matter how different that may be from your own original plan) you find true joy and peace. Not a lesson I have totally mastered yet...but I am getting there.

I am thankful for those friends who have children struggling with life threatening illnesses and are blessed those children are still here with them. I am grateful for their strength they have shared as these children have gone through surgeries and treatments and have endured more in their young lives then most of us will have to endure in a lifetime. For some I wish I were closer to give them a big hug and let them know how much I truly appreciate their example of strength and trust in the Lord. I am thankful for others who have taken very bold and courageous steps to better their lives not letting the fear of what others around them may think or say hold them back. To have battled their issues for so long alone and then finally trusted good people around them enough to let them in to help and support them as they fought through their struggles. Through their experiences it has allowed me to open up to those around me for support and love...even if all I needed that day was just a simple smile. I am very thankful for those who have taught me through their financial difficulties that life is so much more than the material things we own and that true happiness comes from much more than that. I have always known this fact, but when you see it come to life through someone else (or more importantly yourself) you begin to more fully internalize that principle. It has been wonderful spending time with so many of these people and learning from them and being uplifted by their spirits.

I am grateful for the many opportunities I have had to serve lately as it seemed to benefit me more so than it did anyone else. I have loved getting to know so many in our ward who have blessed my life in ways they will probably never know. As big as our ward is getting now I am so grateful for the caliber of people in it and for the amazing spirit it has. Each Sunday I come away feeling so filled with the spirit and with a greater understanding of how to live the gospel. The Lord knows I need good examples of gospel living as I was not raised with those in my life and the families in our ward have done an amazing job! I love and am grateful for the women who have taken time to teach me and share their wisdom and insight on being a mother and raising righteous children. I appreciate their testimonies and their intense commitment to living the gospel and standing up for what is right and being willing to share all of that with me. I am grateful for extended family for doing all of this as well. I say a big thank you to all the women over the years who have done these things and more.

And of course I have been overly thankful for my incredible family. I remember praying to be able to marry the best guy out of all the ones that could be right for me and I can honestly say I have done that!!!! I love my husband and am so grateful to him for all the amazing things he has given me and done for me over the years...just the fact that he stuck with me is a huge accomplishment! He is the strength of our family. I am grateful for his dedication to our family and his intense love for me and each of his children. I appreciate the example he has always been of seeing the glass half full all the time and the good that exists in every aspect of life. I could not be more grateful for having the priesthood in my home and for the power it brings in my life. Again not having had that growing up I feel blessed to have it now and that my children have the opportunity to be blessed by it too. I am grateful to be a mom of four amazing boys!!!! As much as that can be a challenge for me (and those of you with all boys know what I mean) I could not have asked for anything better. My kids have given me more and taught me more then I ever imagined children could do. I am grateful to be learning how to raise these special spirits and to not let the burden of it all weigh me down to the point of defeat. I do not feel worthy of this call to be a mother most days but am grateful a loving father has enough confidence in me (or at least the people around me) to give me this amazing experience. I am often overwhelmed with gratitude for the family I have and hope and pray that someday I may be worthy them. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Well this post has gotten a bit out of hand...sorry. Like I said there has been a lot going on lately and I have had a lot on my mind. I am just really thankful for the experiences I have had over the last few months that have helped me grow and in the process of that growth become stronger. There is truly so much to be grateful for in my life. I feel blessed the Lord has allowed me to experience this. Thank you to all of those who have been such supports to me (even though you may not even know it) and for all the love you have shown. As President Kimball basically said... the Lord does know us and our needs and it is usually through others that He blesses us and takes care of those needs. I am grateful for the people He has sent my way and for all the blessings they have brought!!!

Reflecting back...and looking forward

Well I like most people took a moment yesterday to reflect back on the events that occured 7 years ago. It doesn't seem like it was really that long ago as your feelings are as close to the surface as they were back then. I remember being totally in shock that something like this was really happening and then being glued to the TV (something I am not known for) for the rest of the day watching the drama unfold. How grateful I am for those people who sacrificed their lives in whatever capacity that day. The whole event made me realize how blessed we are to live in this nation and for the many freedoms we enjoy. I think I used to take that more for granted until 9/11 and since have really tried to recognize the privileges I have been given. I remember living in Europe for a year and a half and working with many political refugees from the Middle East and thinking then how proud I was to be an American after hearing just how horrible life could really be in those countries...things the media fails to disclose. But I know I am even more proud now to live in a nation that gives us the right to be who we want to be and allows us to achieve the potential each of us has. I am most grateful for the chance to worship as I will and hope and pray that as our nation goes through various changes that privilege will always remain strong.

Which leads me to looking to the future of our country. I am so not a political type person and have struggled to really get into it all in the past. But over the last few years I have realized that this great country will ony stay that way if all of us get involved and make sure our elected officials believe in the values our country was founded upon. That seems to be happening less and less these days and with the upcoming election I was a totally scared of what our country was headed for. It is never a great feeling when you have to pick between the "lesser of the two evils". But I feel like there is hope ahead now with Miss Sarah entering the picture. What a breath of fresh air...yet one that packs a pretty good punch! I love women like her and think she has done a fantastic job in spite of all she has come up against over the last couple of weeks. She has come in and shakin things up a bit...which is just what this election year really needed! I am much more confident now that there still is hope for our future and that somehow good will yet prevail! You go Miss Sarah this country certainly needs you!!!!

1st day of preschool...sigh

Well Ethan officially had his big entrance into school life this week...he headed off to preschool. He has been so excited to go for the last couple of months...and thanks to that excitement was able to potty train himself in order to go (thank heavens for preschool). He had a great time and from what I hear did a great job. He has been saying for the last month that the school bus was going to pick him up and take him and even after I told him I was taking him (a big whoppin 1/2 block away) he insisted the school bus was coming. I was actually getting worried that I would have to paint a big box yellow and black and put ourselves in it and walk down the street so he would feel like the bus came to pick him up...luckily that did not have to happen. As I drove away I was actually a bit choked up realizing once again how fast our kids are growing up...sometimes I wonder if I am really up for that challenge. But we are very excited for Ethan to be in Miss Heather's class (since she is an amazing teacher) and know he is going to have fun and learn all at the same time. Now the question is what am I going to do with myself for 2 hours twice a week with no kids...hum?!?

Ok so this what you get trying to take a picture in the lovely AZ sun

And how bout that beautiful squinting smile

LABOR DAY

We had a great Labor Day hanging out with some friends from our ward. They invited us up to spend the afternoon swimming and eating at a resort in north Scottsdale where their parents have a timeshare... it was very nice! The kids had a blast swimming in the millions of pools they had...one even had this really cool waterfall you could swim under and then sit on the other side. We even relaxed in one of the hot tubs...sounds a bit crazy being in AZ right but the pool water was actually very cold and it felt great to warm up!!! Anyway, we had a blast just hanging out and the food was great. Even better the weather was nice and you actually enjoyed being outside. Thanks so much TC and Jon (and of course TC's parents) for inviting us and letting us enjoy a great day together!!!

Daddy and Ethan "chillin" in the hot tub

Playing in the pools...my little water boys

This was the big waterfall at one of the pools...I will say when you stood underneath it packed a good punch